the conformity problem

Humans appear to be conformists by nature.  To some degree, I suppose we would be more likely to win some battles of survival of the fittest by joining groups and having a common goal. But is that conformity? Kind of.
Does it mean we have to be conformists? - I would hope not.


The societal structure in the states is not completely horrific - despite the rhetoric we might hear. And since our societal structure has some decent laws and rules, it is generally favorable to follow those rules. However, there are MANY rules we instill on ourselves that quite literally limit the way we live every day.

As a basic and simple example:  Valentine's day.

I'm not going to suggest V-day is a bad thing- but does everyone have to make dinner-and-a-movie reservations for it? Does everyone need to buy a heart-shaped box of chocolates and a dozen roses?

In my mind, conformity is NOT romantic. Romance is doing the unexpected. Romance is throwing spontaneity and creativity into an otherwise "normal" day. So the "here's what everyone does" of Valentine's day is actually the opposite of romance.

The thing is, this is old news. Remember Say Anything ?  Jerry Maguire ? Casablanca (I don't) … but there were no romantic candies or roses as defining elements - there were crazy, unexpected  actions where people poured out their hearts.

Let's try another holiday:
Halloween

The best costumes are the ones that EVERYONE is wearing, right?!
Nope - the best ones are the unique, hand-made, creative ones. Conformity loses again.

OK - now …
Survival.

On the external, the Armed forces would lead one to think that we all need to walk in lock-step to succeed militarily. But it is the unexpected, the crazy, the insane moments that win battles. I'm not a military expert but we all know the many successful battles throughout our history that took the enemy by surprise and for that reason alone had a catastrophic effect. These were not "here's what you are supposed to do" moments.
Conformity loses again.

But WHAT ABOUT Business? … I thought you'd never ask.

It would seem as if business is all about conformity. The higher-up you are, the more likely you are to wear a designer suit and tie. Specific shoes and cuff-links should be your attire as well, right?

Well, if Steve Jobs taught us anything, it is that you don't need a tie to be successful. In fact, the rebellious act of wearing jeans when representing what eventually became one of the most influential companies in history was more on a statement than a tie will ever be.

Lastly … RELIGION.
If there's anything that inspires mass conformity, it is religion, RIGHT?
I don't think so. At least not Christianity.

ROMANS 12:2 states:
"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will."

But I suppose anyone could find a verse of the bible to help make a point. So let's look at the good ol' son of God, Jesus. If anything, Jesus was a rebel. An inspiration for us to go against the grain - especially when the grain affects others negatively. So even though Jesus may have dressed like everyone else, he was by no means conformist.

So what the H#** is my point?

Well, as with pretty much everything I am concerned about - it involved the kids.  I just want my kids to think for themselves. Not every kid needs to listen to Justin Beiber or iCarly or whatever is going on at the time. In fact, doing so makes you a conformist. It also tends to take the place of kids exploring the new, the old, and the unexplored. And it is in the unexplored that one will find success and happiness upon discovering the new and enriching stuff that life has.

This is actually a challenge I have. I realize children may find common ground and start friendships based on their mutual love for Hello Kitty or whatever … So I'm never going to say those are bad in and of themselves. However, I don't feed into these obsessions. I'm not going to start buying every Zhu Zhu pet or Barbie that exists just because my kids seems to like them.

There is SO MUCH MORE to life that I hope to encourage my kids to explore.  And that's where we need to start …